Desire as a Flowing Stream
Think of your desire as a gushing stream of a river. When you are in it, it flows through your veins like it is all yours to claim. The soothing yet urgent request to fill it up in your whole being and letting it flow through to you. It urges you to let the world know of your minute by minute impact of having so close to the stream.
When the World Overwhelms You
There are days when the world throws every question like a small or big anxiety attack that is yours truly. The old adage saying “take one day at a time” becomes too much. What does one do then? When the time is ticking by and you know that the potential you have is slowly ebbing off, just like the stream of water?
Osho says that every moment is like water running down a stream, never the same the next moment. It is the same in case of our desires. We desire world domination one minute, and the next is to live peacefully in nature. One moment is all about wearing hot couture, and the next is about making the next meal that fills up our hungry belly.
Embracing a Slower Rhythm
I have decided to take it one week at a time, ramming up the slowness, letting it be slower than my anxiety is telling me how it is. The larger the goal, the slower you have to let it be. When you start to breathe slowly, you realise that all the things you had wanted to are still within your reach. The things that actually make a difference to you are all waiting for you to get well and pick them up when you are in your centre.
So when I get my ambitious lovelies as clients ready to conquer their respective fields, I feel helpless inside, knowing the truth because I have been there. How do I tell them that life won’t work like that, even if they burn themselves to the point of exhaustion? How do I let them know that life begins on the other side of not doing everything, so that we can slow down and let enough things happen in their own time?
At the other end of not doing enough, are enough things we can do that make a bigger impact than we could have imagined for ourselves.
Returning Home to the Self
After travelling for about two years, it was time again to build stability in a place called home. Starting afresh. Starting with making one meal a day. Then with ensuring that I feel fresh when I am awake (see: burnout and vitamins).
What else does it take to call yourself back home? Reading my favourite authors’ work. Journaling every day to be aware of the stream of consciousness flowing through me. Buying a house plant that nurtures the eyes and soul. Keeping note of the small and big dreams that I see with my eyes open. And most importantly, being super aware of the lies my fears and trauma draw up, telling me that there are hundreds of things to be afraid of while being alive.
If I am getting swayed by my past trauma, there is very little I can do in the present. So the conviction that there are infinite number of things to look forward to in this little thing called life, that decision champions every fear. Every time.
Living Forward with Rituals and Compassion
So, what am I gonna do tomorrow? Do my little rituals to centre. Keep nourishing my soul and body and mind. And when I am ready and my cup overflows with compassion, I will call on my loved ones perhaps and let them have that bit of loving energy that humans need to thrive.
What else? Keep my laptop open for the new stream of ideas that are ready to overflow through me out into the world. Since loving energy is not hedonistic, I let it flow through me to anyone who requires it.